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The Courage to Choose Self-Awareness: From Denial to Healing and Self-Love

Updated: Apr 25


One of the participants in my recent self-awareness workshop posed a question that cut straight to the heart of our collective human experience: "Why do so many people lack self-awareness?"


A woman walking through a labyrinth

It was a question that reverberated through the room, a poignant reminder of the intricate tapestry of our lives and the deeply personal stories each of us carries.


We were gathered in that intimate space, each of us bringing our own unique life stories to the table. Our tales were a blend of joy, shared laughter, and the unmistakable marks of pain and suffering.

We were there for a reason—to delve into the depths of our own selves, seeking answers and understanding.


The question lingered in the air, a haunting melody that begged us to ponder. Why, we questioned, do individuals opt for the comforting shadows of denial over the challenging landscape of self-awareness?


The answer, we knew, was buried beneath layers of heavy emotions, hidden within our shadow and the distortions of our own minds, waiting to be uncovered through the potent force of self-discovery.



The Layers Uncovered: Peeling Back the Veil of Denial


It is important to acknowledge, we all need to deny what is too painful for us to accept. No one using this defense mechanism makes a conscious choice to tune out reality. Denial, a natural means of self-protection, operates automatically and unbidden. It's the comforting veil we wrap around ourselves when facing the harsh truths of our experiences, especially in those moments when acknowledging the pain seems unbearable.


Embarking on the journey of self-awareness is akin to peeling back the layers of our existence—an unveiling that demands courage and introspection. It's a process of confronting our past, shedding light on everything our protective mechanisms tirelessly shielded from our consciousness.


Unmasking our truths reveals not only the wounds inflicted upon us but also those we've imposed on ourselves over time. This expedition into self-awareness is laden with poignant realizations—how we've sabotaged our growth, engaged in self-destructive behaviors, and embraced unhealthy relationships. With each defense mechanism stripped away, we confront emotions long buried—anger, shame, and grief. We grieve for the repeated betrayals of ourselves, for willingly stepping into situations that reaffirmed our deeply ingrained sense of unworthiness.



The Questions That Haunt Us


As we navigate this emotional labyrinth, questions emerge like ghosts from our past:

"Why were the pillars of my early years lacking in love and protection?"

"Where was the reflection of my worthiness when I needed it?"

"Why did I stay in situations that devalued my self-respect?"

"Why did I struggle to believe in the better I deserved?"


These questions echo in the chambers of our minds, each one carrying the weight of self-judgment and unforgiveness—a suffocating burden that stems from our prolonged captivity within the walls of insecurity.



The Revelation of Inner Power: Empowering Self-Healing


Yet, within the storm of emotions, a pivotal moment awaits. This revelation, profound and liberating, marks the point where we grasp the reins of our healing journey. It's a moment of awakening where we shed the harmful belief that we must earn our self-love and self-worth. We come to the profound realization that there is nothing to prove. We acknowledge that we don't need to be perpetual victims of our past or perpetually hurt ourselves.

With this understanding, a door swings open to a world of love, purpose, and meaning—a realm we might never have imagined possible.


In self-awareness, we find not only answers but the power to rewrite our own narratives.


The Journey of Healing and Self-Love: Embracing the Authentic Self


Choosing self-awareness over denial is not an easy path, but it is a courageous one. It requires facing our deepest wounds, acknowledging our pain, and accepting our imperfections. It demands that we forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and find the strength to let go of the toxic patterns that have held us captive.

Female hands crossed on her chest

As we continue on this journey, we discover the transformative power of self-love. We learn to treat ourselves with the same kindness, compassion, and understanding that we extend to others. We begin to recognize our own worthiness and start making choices that reflect this newfound belief.


In the mirror of self-awareness, we discover our true reflection—worthy, resilient, and limitless.

So, to those who find themselves at the crossroads of denial and self-awareness, I say this:

Have courage. Take a leap. You are worth the effort, and the destination is a place of healing, self-love, and boundless potential. It is a journey well worth taking, for it leads to a life lived with authenticity and purpose.


 


I write here hoping that my words will inspire you to find your answers within.

My mission, as a holistic coach, is to help you increase your self awareness, heal parts of you that need healing, and realise your inner-power to create a life you love living.


Much love & support,

Irena



 

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